what day is it and did you see me today?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize