My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
