Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
