I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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