I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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