Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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