Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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