bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
