Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
