you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
