Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
