i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
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