ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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