You really coming over, don't trick.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
