YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
