No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
