i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
