So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
