i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
