More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
should my penis look like a turkey
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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