We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
