Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm really busy with my period
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