dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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