so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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