The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
