Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
