i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
