Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
