Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize