Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
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