DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
We got so high we made milksteak
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
