2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
