While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
