: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
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