No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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