VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Randomize