That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm just crazy horny about you
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You can't just leave with hair like that
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
