I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
