He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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