You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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