Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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