Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
