You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
