So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
