just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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