So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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