Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
