i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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