Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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