Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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