Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
