I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
