Slut skills are useful in every country.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
im on a boat
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