u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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