Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
