One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
3pm strippers are depressing
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
