Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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