thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
