I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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