I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
