did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
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