after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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