Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
