Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
