wanna go halves on a baby?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
