dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
